


Bring Him Home

by BuckyAndDanno



Series: Evan Buckley/Jay Halstead Fics [3]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV), Chicago Fire, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Angst, Guilt, M/M, MCD, Major character death - Freeform, Prompt Fill, Sad, hurt little comfort, why do i do this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26542150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuckyAndDanno/pseuds/BuckyAndDanno
Summary: AU ending for Home of the Bears; prompted by kbl55429. Can be read as a standalone.A warehouse fire gets out of control and the fallout costs the 118 dearly.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Jay Halstead
Series: Evan Buckley/Jay Halstead Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1929322
Comments: 12
Kudos: 123





	Bring Him Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kbl55429](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kbl55429/gifts).



> So kbl55429 prompted this idea in the comments for Home of the Bears. I already have the ending for that fic planned but I couldn’t get this idea out of my head. Cue me trying to get to sleep and having the instrumental version of Bring Him Home from Les Mis playing in my head to the picture of Eddie being carried out on a stretcher and well… this happened.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own 911, Chicago Fire, Chicago PD, or Bring Him Home from Les Mis (for which the title stems from, and for which lyrics are used in the fic).
> 
> Warning for MCD, grief, and emotions. Read with care.

_God on high,_

_Hear my prayer,_

_In my need,_

_You have always been there._

It was his last call.

He’d informed the 118 at the start of their shift that he would be leaving with the 51, back to Chicago. For all they’d tried to build bridges and mend fences, Evan Buckley-Severide was simply too hurt and betrayed by their actions over the past months to stay in LA any longer.

These people, whom he’d once called family, had broken his trust, and that was something not so easily won back or fixed.

Evan needed to start over, even if he wasn’t entirely starting from scratch.

He knows it had upset them, to hear that they couldn’t make things right, but they had accepted it; some of them more reluctant than others.

Evan couldn’t get the image of Eddie out of his mind; hazel eyes filled with pain and disbelief.

He couldn’t shake the words the other man had said. “So you meant it? We’re done?”

Had it really only been a week ago when Evan had left Jay at the fairground and raced to Eddie’s, only to have it blow up in his face?

But yes, he had meant it. Their relationship was beyond repair, and it wasn’t for lack of Evan trying. He just couldn’t find the strength to keep fighting with Eddie.

Still, he wasn’t cruel, and had made a distinct point not to mention that Jay had proposed again.

He made a point not to show anyone the ring now nestled in the hollow of his throat.

The shift had been mostly okay, if a little tense, until – with ten minutes remaining – they were called out. Evan’s gut had tensed immediately; sickness pooling low in his belly.

How had it all gone wrong so fast?

_He is young,_

_He’s afraid,_

_Let him rest,_

_Heaven blessed_

The fire rages around them on all sides, but neither Kelly or Eddie refuse to give up on the last worker trapped inside.

“Severide! Diaz! Report!” Boden’s voice reverberates through the radio at the same moment Kelly spots a body; charred and unrecognisable.

He sighs heavily into his mask, clicking the radio on. “Chief. Last worker is DOA. We’re – ”

A sinister creak echoes from somewhere above him. Something hard slams into his side knocking him to the floor, just as the warehouse collapses around them.

He’s not sure how long it is before he comes to, but he can hear muffled shouts through his radio, trapped between his chest and the concrete floor. A heaviness rests atop him, a pinch stinging his leg.

Shifting slowly he realises it’s a piece of corrugated steel roof, and manages to extract himself carefully from under it. He’s got a slight tear in his pants leg from the edge of it, the wound beneath bleeding sluggishly, but he’s okay.

“Diaz!” He calls out for the other man, seeing no sign. “Eddie!”

“K’l’y?” The muffled groan comes from his left, and Kelly scrabbles quickly to find him. The slur in the other man’s voice is immediately worrying, and as soon as Kelly uncovers the other firefighter, he can see why.

A steel beam pins Eddie atop a pile of debris, but worse still is the sharp metal cutting deep into his midsection. Blood pools steadily on the floor, and Eddie’s eyelids are already at half-mast.

Kelly doesn’t have to be a paramedic to know they’re not getting him out alive.

Professionalism be damned but Kelly swears at the sight. Eddie Diaz was far from his favourite person after everything the man had done to his brother, but Kelly knew that he was a good person, deep down, and a father. He was a human being, and Kelly had vowed to do everything he could to rescue someone in need.

Looking at the scene though, Kelly knows there’s nothing he can do except comfort the man.

Slipping to his knees beside him, Kelly takes the other man’s hand and attempts a smile. “Hey…”

Eddie blinks at him, mask fogged up and specked with blood. “Y…You d’n’t h’ve to l-lie… kn… know it’s b-bad…”

“Just a scratch.” Kelly tries for a better smile, squeezing his hand. “Once the fire’s out – ”

Eddie shakes his head weakly. “We b’th kn… know I’ve n-not g-got that t-time…”

“Eddie…”

“Kelly…” Eddie coughs weakly, but tries to push a little more power into his voice. “L-let me s-say g-goodbye…”

The voices are still shouting through his radio, but Kelly can barely hear them over the roar of flames and the ringing in his ears.

Slowly, he nods, removing Eddie’s crushed radio and replacing it with his own, switching it onto all frequencies. “Go ahead…”

But Eddie shakes his head, pushing weakly at Kelly with his hand. “Go.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“So you’ll l-leave him instead?” Eddie counters, and suddenly Kelly understands.

Eddie pushed him out of the way.

Eddie saved him, at the expense of his own life, because of Buck.

“He needs you.” Kelly croaks, emotions threatening to break him now. “Your son needs you.”

“H-He has y-you.” Eddie says. “H-He h-has fifty o-one. J-Jay. Ch-Chris h-has that t-too.” Eddie pushes at him again. “Go…” A heavy breath. “Go!”

Moments later, Kelly stumbles out into the light, sinks to his knees, and cries.

_Bring him home,_

_Bring him home,_

How had it all gone wrong so fast?

They’re screaming into their radios for Kelly and Eddie, praying for a reply, and then there’s the tell-tale crackle, the whine, and then voices; the trail ends of a conversation.

“Go.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“So you’ll l-leave him instead?”

“He needs you. Your son needs you.”

“H-He has y-you. H-He h-has fifty o-one. J-Jay. Ch-Chris h-has that t-too. Go…” A heavy breath. “Go!”

Evan’s knees buckle.

There’s no denying what they’re hearing.

There’s no denying the toll of bells that ring in their ears; the presence of death like a hand on their shoulders.

“No… No, no, no…” He mumbles, almost incoherently, tears streaming down his face. Yes he and Eddie were completely at odds with each other but god dammit, he still loved the man! Despite everything, he wanted Eddie to be okay, and Christopher…

Oh, god, Christopher…

“EDDIE DIAZ! YOU DAMN WELL GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!” He screams hysterically into the radio, throat raw, hands gripping at the loose gravel. The dig into his palms is somewhat grounding, but his panic is threatening to overwhelm everything.

A short, pained chuckle comes over the radio. “N-Not g-gonna ha-happen B-Buck…” A cough. “’m a l-little st-stuck r-right now…”

“So we’ll get you out!” He gestures manically to Squad, moving without thought to grab pieces of equipment, even though the flames are still raging and he has no idea what Eddie’s injuries are.

It’s the firm hand from Kelly on his elbow that stops him dead. “Evan…”

His brother’s eyes are ringed with red and soot, and the pain buried deep within tells Evan everything.

“No…” He repeats again, shaking his head wildly, because this can’t be it. It just can’t!

“You need to say goodbye.” Kelly croaks, and Buck’s heart just breaks.

“Eddie?” He grasps at the radio again. “Eddie I’m sorry.”

“N-No.” Eddie’s voice is weaker now, and Evan just prays he can hold on a little longer. There’s so much left unsaid between them. So much spoken only through anger and rage. So much water under the bridge that the whole dam is about to collapse. “I’m s-sorry. I n-never said, but I… I sc-screwed up… I l-let you d-down…”

“We both screwed up.” Evan whispers.

“I th-thought y-you were l-leaving m-me.” Eddie says, and damn if that doesn’t take what’s left of Buck’s heart and just rip it to shreds right there. He’d had his suspicions that Eddie’s reaction to Buck’s actions with the lawsuit was to do with Shannon, but to hear it as Eddie takes his last laboured breaths? “So I p-pushed y-you away…”

There’s a choke, a gurgle, and Evan is screaming for him to just stay awake as the truck and ladder teams finish extinguishing the flames.

Then Eddie’s voice comes back, stronger than ever, if only for a moment. “I’ll always regret not telling you that I love you.”

Another choke.

A quiet exhale.

Silence.

Buck’s screams are met with nothing, and what’s left of him shatters completely.

They failed.

 **He** failed.

When the flames are finally extinguished and they send a team in to retrieve Eddie, Buck can’t take his eyes off the sight of him lain on the stretcher, pale and bloodied, but somehow looking more serene than he ever had.

He looks peaceful, a small smile frozen forever on his lips.

Buck slips his eyes closed, and hopes Eddie finds the peace he deserves.

_Bring him home._

The 51 stay another week to help him with the funeral, and everything else. Jay’s hand is tight in his grasp as they stand amongst the sea of black, his other hand resting comfortingly on Christopher Diaz’s shoulder.

The eight year old has barely spoken since they told him, and that worries Buck more than he’ll admit to anyone.

No-one has broached the subject of Chicago.

Buck knows he has a job waiting for him there, his family, but Christopher’s home is LA, and when the will is read declaring that Evan has full custody of Christopher, he knows he has to do right by the kid, first and foremost.

Even as his heart breaks a little more at the thought of Eddie writing that in, legally witnessed and signed, trusting Evan more than anyone else on the planet. Even if it hurts to think of what they’d been through the past year, how it had affected them so deeply.

Even if it hurts to think of Christopher growing up without his Dad.

He tells Chris that he’s staying, that he’s gonna look after him, and Chris just hugs him tight and asks him not to leave him too.

Evan promises that he’s not going to be a firefighter anymore.

He can’t risk Christopher losing someone else.

He thinks about utilising his nursing degree – a way he can still help people without putting himself in danger. One night, with Christopher curled up asleep beside him, he looks into jobs at LA Medical.

He’s going to raise Chris like he deserves.

Like Eddie wants him to.

It’s two week after the accident – the 51 and Jay back in Chicago for the time being – when they’re driving through the city to the market, when Christopher tugs on his arm and whispers;

“Everything reminds me of Dad…”

It breaks what little Evan has left.

He takes them to Chicago – gets a job at Med.

He promises he’ll make Eddie proud.

_He’s like the son I might have known,_

_If god had granted me a son,_

It’s near on thirteen years later when they’re stood at the CFD headquarters, watching the new recruits pass through their graduation ceremony.

Evan’s hand is still grasped firmly in Jay’s, rings glinting on their fingers, as they cheer their adopted sons on.

Christopher Diaz radiates pride as he passes over the stage to receive his graduation certificate and shake the hand of the fire chief. “This is for my Dad!” He screams, and while a little unorthodox, Evan and Jay whoop and cheer manically.

The newest member of CFI returns to his seat to watch his brother, cheering and hollering along with Evan and Jay as the newest member of Truck 81, Ryan Severide-Halstead, crosses the stage with a holler of his own.

Beside Evan and Jay, Edmundo Severide-Halstead sleeps soundly against his Papa, the excitement of the day just a little too much for the seven year old.

And despite them being inside, Evan feels the tickle of wind on his neck, a light pressure on his shoulder.

 _I hope he’s making you proud Eddie._ He thinks. _I hope I do too._

_The summers die,_

_One by one,_

_How soon they fly,_

_On and on,_

Almost forty years pass in the blink of an eye.

The kids are all grown and married, and the house is filled to overflowing with grandkids and great-grandkids and all manners of family members; all celebrating Evan’s eightieth birthday.

The man in question smiles at the scene around him, contended and at peace. His husband is chatting with Ryan’s daughter, holding his great-grandson close to his chest, and Evan feels an indescribable warmth fill him.

The touch of wind blows cold against his cheek again, a hand on his shoulder as Evan’s eyes slide slowly closed.

They don’t reopen.

Eddie’s there, smiling brightly as Evan passes through the pearly gates. He looks exactly like he did when he died, and as Evan looks down at himself, he can see the wrinkles and crows feet have all gone.

He too looks as he did in LA.

Eddie takes his hand, squeezing softly. “I’ve missed you.”

A tear rolls down Evan’s cheek. “I missed you too.”

Eddie brushes it away with his thumb. “You did good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

_And I am old,_

_And will be gone._

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I do this to myself? *Sobs* Ya’ll should not give me such sad prompts!!!


End file.
